Update:
I was cooking and had left a colander of drained rice in the draining sink whilst I ate: I had cooked far too much food, in order to feed myself in future meals, and so wasn't going to be able to serve all my food out. My housemate came in after cooking her meal, which had been re-heating some food of hers.
Last time I had received a scolding for getting in the way, so this time I jumped up and moved the rice into a saucepan, it having drained fully by this point. She was unimpressed and I received an unsubtle put-down of "excuse me!" as I cleared the way for her.
Clearly I just get nagged for existing, since I can either clear the way or not clear the way and still not do it right.
I've also been told off because the downstairs loo has now got limescale and she doesn't use it 'much', and because there are cobwebs there. There are no webs, and I have seen two spiders in the house, one in each loo. She mentioned this to me late last night as I was going to bed, and asked me if I thought I'd ever clean the loo early this evening. I was out all day at work (whereas she has been off work in the last week).
I've also been told off about the door. She's paranoid about security and likes to multiple-lock the door. On going out once (there have a number of exchanges in which she's been exasperated at me) I double locked it and had to double unlock it when I returned. My housemate had been in all the time and had not used the door. I was told off for double locking the door, despite it not affecting her at all!
I am sure that I've missed a few, but this is a reasonable selection so far.
Monday, 24 October 2011
Sunday, 2 October 2011
housemate troubles
Documentary evidence is key, and also helps the memory. Herewith grievances against housemate:
I wanted to go to see my mother, who is ill in hospital, but couldn't due to bank problems, so I was stuck at the house without anything specific to do. My housemate suggested that I clean the kitchen and she'd do the bathroom. I agreed, but didn't clean immediately. Later she said I should do it soon because she wanted to cook in the evening. This made sense, so I gave the kitchen a thorough clean. She was upset with me for leaving some food out for a while (in a covered pan, and not her food), which she took to be highly offensive, and we had an argument about whether it was offensive. She was also upset that she had had to ask me to remove my hair from the bathroom drain cover when I first moved in, and had had to be asked again after my second shower because I had forgotten. She had also suggested that I am the sort of person to put my wet washing over the top of her half-dry clothes on the drying rack, that I had done so already with the mattress protector (that I hadn't even touched, let alone washed and put out) and that I was a thoughtless and rude person. On her way upstairs she said that I was still sulking about being asked to clean the kitchen.
It seems that leaving food out is to other people more of a crime than I think, although none of my friends thinks it such a horrific offence. On the other counts: I shed little hair, since it's cut short, and have never had a drain cover to catch any, so forgetting a new item of routine seems hardly awful to me. Any one shower also doesn't block the drain because I shed so little, so shouldn't have affected her, and certainly not enough to make her upset immediately. I have been very tidy (except in my own room), washing up after myself, including doing much of her washing up, cleaning the surfaces and oven top after making meals as I used to as a child and generally neither getting in her way nor causing trouble. I am quiet, was friendly (am finding it harder now) and courteous. So I struggle to understand how I come across as the sort of person who'd throw wet clothes over dry. When she has visited me before she has seen me hang clothes out to dry where I don't want to if other people's clothes were on the racks I liked, even if those clothes were very dry, just to avoid interfering with other people's clothes.
I had no problem with cleaning the kitchen. I dislike chores, but it was a very fair suggestion and then a sensible reason for me to get it done soon, and I expressed no dissatisfaction with it. I got a bit annoyed with some sticky grime when cleaning, but not my housemate. If I was sulky that day (which she can't have noticed, since I was in my room all the time) it would have been because I had been stymied in my plan to see my ill mother.
Today, 2/10/11, she showed me a news story of a cousin who was run over and killed by her 4-year-old son. I was confused about some of the details of the story and she said 'try not to smile'. I don't know where that came from, but actually I find it quite offensive that she should suggest that I'm that sort of sadist, just as I'm rather offended at her suggestion I'm naturally a grossly thoughtless person. I go out of my way to ease other people's lives, from ignoring their pecadilloes and treating everyone the same to 'small' things like looking ahead when walking and actually making way for oncomers (something that Londoners should try). Her assertions about my character seem so far out as to be a joke (if they were said in a different context).
I have been away over the weekend, and left my clothes out drying. I put them away as soon as I returned, but I wonder if she found that offensive and simply hasn't said anything. I've also left the ironing board out in the (currently) spare bedroom. I wonder if that's offensive. It makes more sense to leave it out since we'll be using it that to put it away for no good reason.
Her next grievance: plastic boxes saved from take-aways are not to be used for raw meat because of the danger of food poisoning. Of course, chopping raw meat on a chopping board or using a knife is fine: washing cleans these things, but plastic boxes are immune to its powers. There are a lot of them too.
Today I have also been asked not to use her plates. There are only 3 in the house, all hers. I forgot to mention that I also destroy sponges (by cleaning the kitchen) and am useless for thinking that when she says I need to unlock somewhere to take the rubbish out I need my keys. And 'destroying sponges' is actually not squeezing one out so that it was squashed a bit when dried, but returned to normal when used again.
17/10/11: I've had a little interlude in this because my mother has died. My housemate was nice enough for a little while, but has been upset again.
This time I'd been cooking and had cleared the draining board by the sink of her lunch-time washing up in order to avoid splashing stuff when I drained my rice. I poured the rice into the colander and placed the pot on the draining board before serving myself and eating. I knew I'd need to wash up before anyone else could cook, and would certainly be the next person to wash. My housemate came in and complained that I must take some sort of perverse delight in doing what she doesn't because I'd left a dirty pan on the draining board, which ought only to have clean items.
Yet again it's a silly complaint. There were no clean things there to be contaminated, it wasn't in her way and she didn't need to use it. I washed everything up as soon as I'd eaten, leaving no mess behind.
I wanted to go to see my mother, who is ill in hospital, but couldn't due to bank problems, so I was stuck at the house without anything specific to do. My housemate suggested that I clean the kitchen and she'd do the bathroom. I agreed, but didn't clean immediately. Later she said I should do it soon because she wanted to cook in the evening. This made sense, so I gave the kitchen a thorough clean. She was upset with me for leaving some food out for a while (in a covered pan, and not her food), which she took to be highly offensive, and we had an argument about whether it was offensive. She was also upset that she had had to ask me to remove my hair from the bathroom drain cover when I first moved in, and had had to be asked again after my second shower because I had forgotten. She had also suggested that I am the sort of person to put my wet washing over the top of her half-dry clothes on the drying rack, that I had done so already with the mattress protector (that I hadn't even touched, let alone washed and put out) and that I was a thoughtless and rude person. On her way upstairs she said that I was still sulking about being asked to clean the kitchen.
It seems that leaving food out is to other people more of a crime than I think, although none of my friends thinks it such a horrific offence. On the other counts: I shed little hair, since it's cut short, and have never had a drain cover to catch any, so forgetting a new item of routine seems hardly awful to me. Any one shower also doesn't block the drain because I shed so little, so shouldn't have affected her, and certainly not enough to make her upset immediately. I have been very tidy (except in my own room), washing up after myself, including doing much of her washing up, cleaning the surfaces and oven top after making meals as I used to as a child and generally neither getting in her way nor causing trouble. I am quiet, was friendly (am finding it harder now) and courteous. So I struggle to understand how I come across as the sort of person who'd throw wet clothes over dry. When she has visited me before she has seen me hang clothes out to dry where I don't want to if other people's clothes were on the racks I liked, even if those clothes were very dry, just to avoid interfering with other people's clothes.
I had no problem with cleaning the kitchen. I dislike chores, but it was a very fair suggestion and then a sensible reason for me to get it done soon, and I expressed no dissatisfaction with it. I got a bit annoyed with some sticky grime when cleaning, but not my housemate. If I was sulky that day (which she can't have noticed, since I was in my room all the time) it would have been because I had been stymied in my plan to see my ill mother.
Today, 2/10/11, she showed me a news story of a cousin who was run over and killed by her 4-year-old son. I was confused about some of the details of the story and she said 'try not to smile'. I don't know where that came from, but actually I find it quite offensive that she should suggest that I'm that sort of sadist, just as I'm rather offended at her suggestion I'm naturally a grossly thoughtless person. I go out of my way to ease other people's lives, from ignoring their pecadilloes and treating everyone the same to 'small' things like looking ahead when walking and actually making way for oncomers (something that Londoners should try). Her assertions about my character seem so far out as to be a joke (if they were said in a different context).
I have been away over the weekend, and left my clothes out drying. I put them away as soon as I returned, but I wonder if she found that offensive and simply hasn't said anything. I've also left the ironing board out in the (currently) spare bedroom. I wonder if that's offensive. It makes more sense to leave it out since we'll be using it that to put it away for no good reason.
Her next grievance: plastic boxes saved from take-aways are not to be used for raw meat because of the danger of food poisoning. Of course, chopping raw meat on a chopping board or using a knife is fine: washing cleans these things, but plastic boxes are immune to its powers. There are a lot of them too.
Today I have also been asked not to use her plates. There are only 3 in the house, all hers. I forgot to mention that I also destroy sponges (by cleaning the kitchen) and am useless for thinking that when she says I need to unlock somewhere to take the rubbish out I need my keys. And 'destroying sponges' is actually not squeezing one out so that it was squashed a bit when dried, but returned to normal when used again.
17/10/11: I've had a little interlude in this because my mother has died. My housemate was nice enough for a little while, but has been upset again.
This time I'd been cooking and had cleared the draining board by the sink of her lunch-time washing up in order to avoid splashing stuff when I drained my rice. I poured the rice into the colander and placed the pot on the draining board before serving myself and eating. I knew I'd need to wash up before anyone else could cook, and would certainly be the next person to wash. My housemate came in and complained that I must take some sort of perverse delight in doing what she doesn't because I'd left a dirty pan on the draining board, which ought only to have clean items.
Yet again it's a silly complaint. There were no clean things there to be contaminated, it wasn't in her way and she didn't need to use it. I washed everything up as soon as I'd eaten, leaving no mess behind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)